The harvest didn't go well at all. Out of 25 follicles, only 7 eggs were harvested. Once again I am plagued by these dang cysts. Of the 7 eggs harvested, only 1 was mature. The 1 egg was fertilized with ICSI (inter cytoplasmic sperm injection), but it fertilized abnormally with 4 pronuclei.
I won't get into embryology, but the only way to get 4 pronuclei is to introduce more than 1 sperm into the egg. To top it all off, I missed most of Chance's first bday party because of the harvest. His party was 11-2, and our harvest was at 1030. Yeah. Horrible timing.
Needless to say I was very angry and upset that this happened. I sent a scathing email to the clinic wanting to know how this could happen, and wanting to advocate for other patients to make sure this doesn't happen to them. Of course the embryologist deflected the blame off him and his crew by saying the egg was bad. Uh huh. Whatever. I know how pronuclei are formed; I am not a "regular" patient who doesn't know how things work.
Anyway, with the poor result, we are finished on our IVF adventure. Chance will be an only child unless we adopt (not likely).
Deep down I KNEW we shouldn't have done this cycle. Historically our results have been terrible, and I was on the fence to begin with; if we hadn't had the credit and meds donated, I wouldn't have done it. Now I am angry myself because I knew better, and we just wasted all that money. We could build a new shed for the DH with that money; or even buy a new plane. We have been waiting to buy the plane to see if we needed a larger plane for 2 kids.
I have run the gauntlet of emotions. I wanted to hold out hope we would have another child, but deep down I knew it wasn't going to happen. It is hard not to get discouraged when the results have always been poor. Now I am sad and angry at the same time. I will continue to grieve, but I will also enjoy what will be my life with my 2 boys (yes the DH is an overgrown boy LOL).
I thank every one of you for going on this journey with me. I will continue to update on Chance when I think about it.
Went for his 1 yr appt yesterday. He is 31.5" tall and weighs 22 pounds 10 ounces. He got 3 shots and they drew blood to check for lead and other things. He took it like a champ. He watched with intent fascination at the phlebotomist when she pricked his finger to draw his blood. The shots, not so much. He cried for about a minute, then forgot all about what happened. We went to eat Mexican as a treat. He loves guacamole and refried beans.
Thank you once again for every one who prayed with us along this long and arduous journey. We have our one perfect little miracle boy, and apparently that is what God wants us to have.
Cheers!
