We ended up harvesting 8 eggs. Only 4 of them were mature, and only 3 fertilized. Now we wait. WE have to wait 5 days post harvest to find out if any of them are genetically normal. This is almost worse than the TWW after the transfer.
I am sad. I am discouraged. I have a whole range of emotions, and it is so hard to not be pessimistic. It's hard to stay positive knowing how all the eggs and embryos in the past were bad (except Sir Chance). 1 out of 30 is NOT good odds, but no one has ever said I wasn't one to beat the odds. Just look at Sir Chance; the foremost RE in the country told me I would never carry a baby to term, even if we get a normal embryo, but we took the chance and here he is. The RE was completely shocked when I called him to discuss a second baby. Completely shocked we got an embryo, but even more shocked I was able to carry to (almost - 38 weeks) term. I'm pretty sure I have been depressed since the harvest and I learned we only had 3 fertilized eggs. It doesn't help I have been in more pain than I remember ever being in before. I finally broke down and called my ER today. I am going in tomorrow for an ultrasound to make sure I am not bleeding anywhere. The pain I am describing makes her thing I may have a little bleeding and there is blood filling up my abdomen. She suspects this because my pain meds are not working, I am still swollen, the pain is one sided, and my abdomen is hard (no, it's not from working out unfortunately).
So we wait. We wait the 5 days post harvest to find out if we have possible siblings for Sir Chance.
I will do my best to stay as positive as I can, it's just very hard, I think I am tired. I am glad this is our last try for a sibling. Unless we adopt, there will be no more biological siblings for Sir Chance....unless DH has children running around he doesn't know about! LOL
So know we wait....
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Harvest Complete
The harvest went well. I seem to be in more pain than I usually am, but I'm woken through it. Got out last night to meet a friend for a little bit and I am paying for it this morning.
Honestly: we haven't gotten any results back and I am already sad and thinking the worst. They harvested 8 eggs, but I doubt any of them are going to be mature. The only thing left is to leave it in God's hands.
I am not sure I am sad because my journey has come to an end, or just sad overall I was't able to conceive naturally. Is it a blessing or a curse I had breast cancer at age 24?? It's not my place to question God's plan...and set I still do. I have a perfect little boy, who busted his chin open on Tuesday and needed stitches (we opted for glue since he was being so good and we figured he'd pick at the stitches). Boys being boys. He will have a scar, but hopefully in time it will fade and he will never know it ever happened, except through pics.
I am sad. I just want to lay around today. I am hurting and sad. So we will wait to here form the clinic on the status of our 8 eggs and make decisions from there.
Until new updates.
Honestly: we haven't gotten any results back and I am already sad and thinking the worst. They harvested 8 eggs, but I doubt any of them are going to be mature. The only thing left is to leave it in God's hands.
I am not sure I am sad because my journey has come to an end, or just sad overall I was't able to conceive naturally. Is it a blessing or a curse I had breast cancer at age 24?? It's not my place to question God's plan...and set I still do. I have a perfect little boy, who busted his chin open on Tuesday and needed stitches (we opted for glue since he was being so good and we figured he'd pick at the stitches). Boys being boys. He will have a scar, but hopefully in time it will fade and he will never know it ever happened, except through pics.
I am sad. I just want to lay around today. I am hurting and sad. So we will wait to here form the clinic on the status of our 8 eggs and make decisions from there.
Until new updates.
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
US and Labs
No results back yet, but there were 2 larger and one smaller follicle on each ovary today; that we could see. There was also fluid in my uterine lining, which means had I been doing a fresh cycle, it would have been cancelled and everything frozen until a later date. Good thing we aren't doing a fresh cycle. After the first one, we've never done another; my body can't handle the overstimulation of hormones.
So I start my Cetrotide today. Which tells me my P4 levels are starting to creep up. They give the Cetrotide to shut down the P4, keeping it low so it won't cook the eggs in the follicles.
I return to the clinic for another US and labs on Friday (July 26th).
I am very disappointed in how I am stimulating this time. I really only have 4 follicles. The OAR score indicated at least 8. They need to come up with a more reliable test, because this test sucks and only gets one's hopes up.
Until then......
So I start my Cetrotide today. Which tells me my P4 levels are starting to creep up. They give the Cetrotide to shut down the P4, keeping it low so it won't cook the eggs in the follicles.
I return to the clinic for another US and labs on Friday (July 26th).
I am very disappointed in how I am stimulating this time. I really only have 4 follicles. The OAR score indicated at least 8. They need to come up with a more reliable test, because this test sucks and only gets one's hopes up.
Until then......
Monday, July 22, 2019
Today's Results
Here are the results from today's US and labs.
Not as good as I was hoping, but the left ovary was hiding behind the uterus and some bowel. Hopefully there are more and we just didn't see them.
| Left Ovary | |
| Follicles: | 9mm, 8mm, 7mm |
| Right Ovary | |
| Follicles: | 14mm, 13mm |
The ESTRADIOL was 680.6 pg/ml. This is just fine for what I have. I go back on Wednesday 0900.
Until then....
Sunday, July 21, 2019
Baseline US and Blood Work
Went Saturday morning (July 20) for the baseline US and blood work. It appeared I had 4 good follicles on the left ovary and 2 maybe 3 small follicles on the right. I do not know the levels of P4 or E, and I can not confirm the follicles, because the clinic has not updated my portal. They only sent me instructions.
So I continue 225 of the stimulating shots, twice a day, until 0830 tomorrow morning (Monday July 22). I go back for another US and blood work to see how the few follicles I have are progressing, and to see if I have gained any new ones. I am still on the steroid pill once a day.
So far, everything looks good and we are progressing nicely.
Until tomorrow then.....
So I continue 225 of the stimulating shots, twice a day, until 0830 tomorrow morning (Monday July 22). I go back for another US and blood work to see how the few follicles I have are progressing, and to see if I have gained any new ones. I am still on the steroid pill once a day.
So far, everything looks good and we are progressing nicely.
Until tomorrow then.....
Sunday, July 14, 2019
And We Begin Again
Well, here we go folks. It's that time again....harvest time. I start my stim shots on Tuesday. Twice a day as usual. Also start the dexamethasone as well that day. My first US and baseline blood work will be Sat the 20th at 0800.
I'm excited but I am also nervous. My OAR score this time was the best it's ever been since we started this whole process when I was 35. Just for reference, I will be 43 in Oct. However, I have been thrown a curve ball this time.
May 19th, the day of the final episode of Game of Thrones (the first episode I would have watched and yes, it was the series finally), I decided I needed to have a seizure. Yep. Full on tonic clonic seizure. Convulsions, frothing at the mouth, classic seizure. Turns out (after MRI and EEG), it was a perfect storm of things that caused it. Migraine for 4 days, little to no sleep for 3 days (we had just bought a Dive Shop and well, stress), and Tramadol. Tramadol has a history of lowering a person's seizure threshold, but I had been on it for over 10 years and had no issues. So the only culprit is the Tramadol. IT lasted about 45 seconds or so. I was standing at the cat tree and the next thing I remember is them asking me what year it was (I couldn't come up with it) and then asking if I knew where I was (in the ambulance - I go that one right). It took about an hour for me to get all my faculties back and know what was exactly going on. I am fine, except I can't scuba dive for 6 months now. UGH. That sucks, especially during the busy summer season.
Anyway, how this affects my IVF. I was 132 pounds before the seizure. When I went to my first appointment to get my H&H blood draw and and US to check for any cysts on my ovaries, I was 150 pounds. Nothing has changed in my eating habits. Nothing. The only change is the seizure and the dive shop. I am getting at least 20,000 steps a day and constantly lifting and loving heavy objects. Is it the exercise packing on muscle, or is it something else? I feel I am eating less, but drinking more. I realize alcohol can pack on weight, but that much in such a short time?? I wasn't drinking THAT much. The other thing that has changed (IMO) is my personality. I am quick to anger, I feel I have zero emotions, and I feel my Sir Chance wants nothing to do with me.....an I am indifferent about it. Yes, I have gone to the doctor about all of this and she is stumped as well since all the tests are normal; but who says I am ever normal??!! HA!
No way to lose those extra pounds in 2 weeks, so hopefully I can get the pounds off before we transfer (God willing we get embryos of course).
Another thing that has happened, is I had surgery April 3. I had abdominal liposuction and breast/nipple reconstruction. They used the fat from my abdomen and transferred it to the left breast to fill in some flat spaces. We did this to keep from having to remove the implant and doing capsule work. The capsule is the pocket the implant sits in. Think of it as the water balloon is the capsule and the implant is the water. We moved my right nipple, via flap, almost 2 cm to the lateral side (towards my arm pit), because it was showing in any bra or swim suit top I wore (except bandeau style; but with a swimming toddler you can't wear those....he just pulls them down).
Now here is where things get tricky. DH is only off 4 days the entire 2 weeks of the harvest schedule. He is on call two days (so he goes in at 7P) and off the day after his call shift. Yes, he is off the weekends, but I have historically never harvested on the weekend. Since he is only off those 4 days, and the chances of me being ready on one of those 4 days is slim, he will have to go into the clinic and leave a sperm sample to be frozen, as back up just in case. Obviously fresh sperm is best, but if he isn't avail, it's either frozen sperm or frozen eggs.
Back to my OAR score. It is the best it has ever been, so the RE ordered less medicine than she has in the past. This gives me more hope things will go smoothly and amazingly. As you may or may not remember, our last cycle we had the most follicles we have ever had at 25, but only got a few eggs, only one of which was mature. Due to human error, our egg was accidentally injected with 2 sperm and we ended up with a ruined egg. It happens. We don't blame anyone, and no action was taken. We just wanted to make sure steps were put in place so that hopefully this doesn't happen again, or to anyone else. When you have 10 harvests in a day, it makes people rush around and sometimes errors happen. So we had little signs made to remind people to slow down and take extra precautions.
So shots start in 2 days. Not looking forward to the shots since I have no fat in my tummy anymore, but it'll be great. I am still trying to figure out where all the weight went, because I may be swollen a little bit (takes about 6 months for all the swelling to go away), so my waist is still around 2 inches larger than pre-surgery, but it was closer to 6 inches for weeks post surgery. I still wear my abdominal binder and waist trainers. Spanx don't make a small enough product to get the compression I need. I probably should be wearing a corset honestly, but that requires 2 people to get into and my 85 year old MIL can't help and DH isn't around when it's time to get dressed. So I do what I can.
Hopefully by Sat we have a few good growing follicles and we are off to a good start for this third and final harvest. We said we would do 3 after Sir Chance was born, so this is the final one.
Updates to come. I appreciate any and all good wishes and prayers. I also hope anyone reading this who is going through this journey, has faith it can work. Stay positive and allow it all to happen in God's time.
I'm excited but I am also nervous. My OAR score this time was the best it's ever been since we started this whole process when I was 35. Just for reference, I will be 43 in Oct. However, I have been thrown a curve ball this time.
May 19th, the day of the final episode of Game of Thrones (the first episode I would have watched and yes, it was the series finally), I decided I needed to have a seizure. Yep. Full on tonic clonic seizure. Convulsions, frothing at the mouth, classic seizure. Turns out (after MRI and EEG), it was a perfect storm of things that caused it. Migraine for 4 days, little to no sleep for 3 days (we had just bought a Dive Shop and well, stress), and Tramadol. Tramadol has a history of lowering a person's seizure threshold, but I had been on it for over 10 years and had no issues. So the only culprit is the Tramadol. IT lasted about 45 seconds or so. I was standing at the cat tree and the next thing I remember is them asking me what year it was (I couldn't come up with it) and then asking if I knew where I was (in the ambulance - I go that one right). It took about an hour for me to get all my faculties back and know what was exactly going on. I am fine, except I can't scuba dive for 6 months now. UGH. That sucks, especially during the busy summer season.
Anyway, how this affects my IVF. I was 132 pounds before the seizure. When I went to my first appointment to get my H&H blood draw and and US to check for any cysts on my ovaries, I was 150 pounds. Nothing has changed in my eating habits. Nothing. The only change is the seizure and the dive shop. I am getting at least 20,000 steps a day and constantly lifting and loving heavy objects. Is it the exercise packing on muscle, or is it something else? I feel I am eating less, but drinking more. I realize alcohol can pack on weight, but that much in such a short time?? I wasn't drinking THAT much. The other thing that has changed (IMO) is my personality. I am quick to anger, I feel I have zero emotions, and I feel my Sir Chance wants nothing to do with me.....an I am indifferent about it. Yes, I have gone to the doctor about all of this and she is stumped as well since all the tests are normal; but who says I am ever normal??!! HA!
No way to lose those extra pounds in 2 weeks, so hopefully I can get the pounds off before we transfer (God willing we get embryos of course).
Another thing that has happened, is I had surgery April 3. I had abdominal liposuction and breast/nipple reconstruction. They used the fat from my abdomen and transferred it to the left breast to fill in some flat spaces. We did this to keep from having to remove the implant and doing capsule work. The capsule is the pocket the implant sits in. Think of it as the water balloon is the capsule and the implant is the water. We moved my right nipple, via flap, almost 2 cm to the lateral side (towards my arm pit), because it was showing in any bra or swim suit top I wore (except bandeau style; but with a swimming toddler you can't wear those....he just pulls them down).
Now here is where things get tricky. DH is only off 4 days the entire 2 weeks of the harvest schedule. He is on call two days (so he goes in at 7P) and off the day after his call shift. Yes, he is off the weekends, but I have historically never harvested on the weekend. Since he is only off those 4 days, and the chances of me being ready on one of those 4 days is slim, he will have to go into the clinic and leave a sperm sample to be frozen, as back up just in case. Obviously fresh sperm is best, but if he isn't avail, it's either frozen sperm or frozen eggs.
Back to my OAR score. It is the best it has ever been, so the RE ordered less medicine than she has in the past. This gives me more hope things will go smoothly and amazingly. As you may or may not remember, our last cycle we had the most follicles we have ever had at 25, but only got a few eggs, only one of which was mature. Due to human error, our egg was accidentally injected with 2 sperm and we ended up with a ruined egg. It happens. We don't blame anyone, and no action was taken. We just wanted to make sure steps were put in place so that hopefully this doesn't happen again, or to anyone else. When you have 10 harvests in a day, it makes people rush around and sometimes errors happen. So we had little signs made to remind people to slow down and take extra precautions.
So shots start in 2 days. Not looking forward to the shots since I have no fat in my tummy anymore, but it'll be great. I am still trying to figure out where all the weight went, because I may be swollen a little bit (takes about 6 months for all the swelling to go away), so my waist is still around 2 inches larger than pre-surgery, but it was closer to 6 inches for weeks post surgery. I still wear my abdominal binder and waist trainers. Spanx don't make a small enough product to get the compression I need. I probably should be wearing a corset honestly, but that requires 2 people to get into and my 85 year old MIL can't help and DH isn't around when it's time to get dressed. So I do what I can.
Hopefully by Sat we have a few good growing follicles and we are off to a good start for this third and final harvest. We said we would do 3 after Sir Chance was born, so this is the final one.
Updates to come. I appreciate any and all good wishes and prayers. I also hope anyone reading this who is going through this journey, has faith it can work. Stay positive and allow it all to happen in God's time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)