So we once again consulted with our RE. We did another OAR Score, and my numbers actually increased!!! What? How is that possible wince they have been dropping like a rock since Sir Chance was born 19 months ago. Well, they did. Not significantly, but they increased anyway. Estimated egg retrieval is 8.
So what to do? Should we try with me again? Should we go right to egg donor and skip me?
I think I would always regret not giving myself another chance, especially since my numbers increased; however, we said we would try only 3 times, and if we did me, we would not do egg donor, as that would be 4 tries.
The embryology costs at our clinic have increased almost 100% since last June when we harvested last. This really upsets me; as there is NO reason for it to increase THAT much. What can you do though?
So I consulted the business manager of the fertility clinic and asked her about a 2 for 1 deal on the harvests. Kind of a joint risk thing. Pay time and a half, and if we harvest me and get an embryo then we are done (we would lose money - here is our risk); but if we didn't, then harvest the donor at no additional cost to us (their risk - as they are losing money).
She didn't go for that; so we will get the same professional discount as always.
Here's how the donor works (money wise). We chose our donor from a picture book. Once we chose, we pay $7,000 for the donor to have all the genetic testing, ID labs, and all the other blood work needed to be a donor. This $7k covers all the education and psychological testing. Then, there is an additional $7,000 which covers all the stuff needed for the harvest and genetic testing. Well, sort of, because the actual testing costs an additional $2,500 on top of all the other clinic costs, which goes directly to the testing lab. Medications for the donor are approx $3,500 (it's closer to $6,000 for me). The cost of the FET (frozen embryo transfer) is approx $4,000 with $1,500 in meds. There is also a $5,000 stipend for the donor to cover time off work and driving time, etc.
When I first approached the office manager about the cost, she informed me the cost of the Donor cycle would be $39,000....which immediately took it off the table. However, the I received all the financial information, the $39,000 was for both a harvest for me, the donor, a fresh and frozen transfer, and all the testing. Pour professional discount (thanks DrH) makes it less than this obviously.
So now we just have to decide. The ultimate goal is for us (me to carry) to have a second child, so Sir Chance can have a sibling or two. We have things in the works where I will be going back to work around Feb 1, so trying to fit everything in harvest wise, along with all our vacations in the first of the year, makes it super tricky, and really hard to decide.
Obviously with our track record, harvesting me feels like it would be a waste of money, but it only takes one. Look at Sir Chance.
Another thing we have to consider: if we use and egg donor, what about all the half siblings this child may have? How do we tell the child about this; I'm not your genetic mother, but I birthed you? Fortunately at our clinic, the donor is only allowed to donate one time, and we would get any and all eggs she produces. So there is this dilemma to; what if we get more than 3 or 4 embryos? Would we wait and have another child (I would be close to 48 with a third) or do we just destroy the embryos? Donate them? Lots of things to consider. I know for a fact, on a mitochondrial DNA level, me carrying the baby changes this DNA, but if a DNA test were done, the child wouldn't show as mine. So many things to consider; money not just being one of them.
So we are once again on the fertility journey.
