I started the hormone dots today, as well as the viagra suppository. I have been on Lupron 5mg and baby aspirin for 2 days now. Just so you know the suppository is vaginal. It doesn't come with any kind of device to inset it, so I have to do it the old fashioned way; with my fingers. Let me tell you, its extremely gross. Especially since I am still bleeding from being on my period. Granted, it's really just spotting, but it's still gross.
I am not a fan of this viagra suppository. I feel yucky on it. It lowers your blood pressure to increase the blood flow to the uterus. I certainly do not need lower blood pressure. The shots have been no big deal this time, mostly because I am still numb from my c-section so I can't feel the shots. I have not been bruising like I did before either. However, I did start the aspirin two days ago, so the bruising may start.
I stay on the dots and everything else until my appointment Jan 13, 2020.
Sir Chance seems to have fallen off the bed. Off to check on him.....
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
The Last Beginning
Well, I got my flowsheet for the last time. Flowsheet are the instructions for the FET (frozen embryo transfer). I started the BCPs 3 weeks ago.
I take the active pills until Dec 23. I start the Lupron shots Dec 20th, along with the prenatal vitamin. I take the shots, 10 units sub-q every morning until Dec 29, then I lower the dose to 5 units every morning. On Dec 30th, I start taking 81mg aspirin (baby aspirin) every day. On Dec 31st, I start the hormone patches (vivelle dots) and the Viagra vaginal suppository. I apply 1 dot every other day until Jan 2nd, when I start applying 2 dots every other day. Starting Jan 6th, I apply 3 dots every other day. This lasts until Jan 10th, when I start applying 4 dots every other day. I am taking the shots, aspirin, and suppositories every day along with the dots. I go to the clinic Jan 13 for my first US and blood work. The last day to transfer in the cycle is Jan 31st. I haven't ever been ready at the first of the cycle; I am usually closer to the end of the cycle.
We know the sex of the embryo, it's just a matter of her surviving the thaw, and then sticking and growing for 39 weeks.
It is a v very stressful time for me. I am scared and excited all at the same time. How will we handle two kids?? Three year old Sir Chance and an infant. How will Sir Chance take having a baby in the house? We wanted to get him potty trained before the new baby comes, but I am not sure that is going to happen. He just isn't interested like he was when he was 17 months. Had I not gotten sick, he would be potty trained already. Thanks niece for that sickness.
So, we are going on this journey one last time.
I take the active pills until Dec 23. I start the Lupron shots Dec 20th, along with the prenatal vitamin. I take the shots, 10 units sub-q every morning until Dec 29, then I lower the dose to 5 units every morning. On Dec 30th, I start taking 81mg aspirin (baby aspirin) every day. On Dec 31st, I start the hormone patches (vivelle dots) and the Viagra vaginal suppository. I apply 1 dot every other day until Jan 2nd, when I start applying 2 dots every other day. Starting Jan 6th, I apply 3 dots every other day. This lasts until Jan 10th, when I start applying 4 dots every other day. I am taking the shots, aspirin, and suppositories every day along with the dots. I go to the clinic Jan 13 for my first US and blood work. The last day to transfer in the cycle is Jan 31st. I haven't ever been ready at the first of the cycle; I am usually closer to the end of the cycle.
We know the sex of the embryo, it's just a matter of her surviving the thaw, and then sticking and growing for 39 weeks.
It is a v very stressful time for me. I am scared and excited all at the same time. How will we handle two kids?? Three year old Sir Chance and an infant. How will Sir Chance take having a baby in the house? We wanted to get him potty trained before the new baby comes, but I am not sure that is going to happen. He just isn't interested like he was when he was 17 months. Had I not gotten sick, he would be potty trained already. Thanks niece for that sickness.
So, we are going on this journey one last time.
Saturday, November 30, 2019
And It Begins Again
The medications have started and I a losing my mind. Thinking of having two kids, a new business, and a DH who always works, It can be very over whelming. Transfer of our little girl is to be the last two weeks of Jan; the 31st being the last day. So Sept or Oct baby.
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
Results Are In
Well, our results are in. We have a genetically normal girl sitting in the freezer!! Woo Hoo!!
Now all she has to do is stick.
I thought for sure when the RE wanted to speak to us before we left for vacation Friday, that the news would be bad; I am go glad it is not.
Now we hang to coordinated DH schedule with the clinic schedule for the frozen transfer.
Updates to come.
Now all she has to do is stick.
I thought for sure when the RE wanted to speak to us before we left for vacation Friday, that the news would be bad; I am go glad it is not.
Now we hang to coordinated DH schedule with the clinic schedule for the frozen transfer.
Updates to come.
Monday, September 2, 2019
Still Waiting
We are still waiting for the results of our PGS testing. We got a phone call requesting we make an appointment to discuss the results with the RE while we were on vacation two weeks ago. I was gone last week, and we leave again this week; so we will not get our results until after we return home. UGH.
The message indicated we would need to sign consent forms, which leads me to believe the results are bad and they need us to sign consents to destroy the embryos. I could meet with the RE two days this week if she is avail, but I don't think I want to ruin my vacation with bad news; so we will wait.
I am very torn. If the results are bad, I may consider egg donation. This may be our only option for a genetic sibling for Sir Chance. Funny thing about this, is I would still be this child's mother. DNA testing today won't pick it up, but on a mitochondrial level, the DNA of the child changes because I am carrying said child. When the technology catches up, it will show I am the mother of the child on a DNA level. Pretty cool stuff. Just something we may consider in the future.
So we just wait....
The message indicated we would need to sign consent forms, which leads me to believe the results are bad and they need us to sign consents to destroy the embryos. I could meet with the RE two days this week if she is avail, but I don't think I want to ruin my vacation with bad news; so we will wait.
I am very torn. If the results are bad, I may consider egg donation. This may be our only option for a genetic sibling for Sir Chance. Funny thing about this, is I would still be this child's mother. DNA testing today won't pick it up, but on a mitochondrial level, the DNA of the child changes because I am carrying said child. When the technology catches up, it will show I am the mother of the child on a DNA level. Pretty cool stuff. Just something we may consider in the future.
So we just wait....
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Egg Update
We ended up harvesting 8 eggs. Only 4 of them were mature, and only 3 fertilized. Now we wait. WE have to wait 5 days post harvest to find out if any of them are genetically normal. This is almost worse than the TWW after the transfer.
I am sad. I am discouraged. I have a whole range of emotions, and it is so hard to not be pessimistic. It's hard to stay positive knowing how all the eggs and embryos in the past were bad (except Sir Chance). 1 out of 30 is NOT good odds, but no one has ever said I wasn't one to beat the odds. Just look at Sir Chance; the foremost RE in the country told me I would never carry a baby to term, even if we get a normal embryo, but we took the chance and here he is. The RE was completely shocked when I called him to discuss a second baby. Completely shocked we got an embryo, but even more shocked I was able to carry to (almost - 38 weeks) term. I'm pretty sure I have been depressed since the harvest and I learned we only had 3 fertilized eggs. It doesn't help I have been in more pain than I remember ever being in before. I finally broke down and called my ER today. I am going in tomorrow for an ultrasound to make sure I am not bleeding anywhere. The pain I am describing makes her thing I may have a little bleeding and there is blood filling up my abdomen. She suspects this because my pain meds are not working, I am still swollen, the pain is one sided, and my abdomen is hard (no, it's not from working out unfortunately).
So we wait. We wait the 5 days post harvest to find out if we have possible siblings for Sir Chance.
I will do my best to stay as positive as I can, it's just very hard, I think I am tired. I am glad this is our last try for a sibling. Unless we adopt, there will be no more biological siblings for Sir Chance....unless DH has children running around he doesn't know about! LOL
So know we wait....
I am sad. I am discouraged. I have a whole range of emotions, and it is so hard to not be pessimistic. It's hard to stay positive knowing how all the eggs and embryos in the past were bad (except Sir Chance). 1 out of 30 is NOT good odds, but no one has ever said I wasn't one to beat the odds. Just look at Sir Chance; the foremost RE in the country told me I would never carry a baby to term, even if we get a normal embryo, but we took the chance and here he is. The RE was completely shocked when I called him to discuss a second baby. Completely shocked we got an embryo, but even more shocked I was able to carry to (almost - 38 weeks) term. I'm pretty sure I have been depressed since the harvest and I learned we only had 3 fertilized eggs. It doesn't help I have been in more pain than I remember ever being in before. I finally broke down and called my ER today. I am going in tomorrow for an ultrasound to make sure I am not bleeding anywhere. The pain I am describing makes her thing I may have a little bleeding and there is blood filling up my abdomen. She suspects this because my pain meds are not working, I am still swollen, the pain is one sided, and my abdomen is hard (no, it's not from working out unfortunately).
So we wait. We wait the 5 days post harvest to find out if we have possible siblings for Sir Chance.
I will do my best to stay as positive as I can, it's just very hard, I think I am tired. I am glad this is our last try for a sibling. Unless we adopt, there will be no more biological siblings for Sir Chance....unless DH has children running around he doesn't know about! LOL
So know we wait....
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Harvest Complete
The harvest went well. I seem to be in more pain than I usually am, but I'm woken through it. Got out last night to meet a friend for a little bit and I am paying for it this morning.
Honestly: we haven't gotten any results back and I am already sad and thinking the worst. They harvested 8 eggs, but I doubt any of them are going to be mature. The only thing left is to leave it in God's hands.
I am not sure I am sad because my journey has come to an end, or just sad overall I was't able to conceive naturally. Is it a blessing or a curse I had breast cancer at age 24?? It's not my place to question God's plan...and set I still do. I have a perfect little boy, who busted his chin open on Tuesday and needed stitches (we opted for glue since he was being so good and we figured he'd pick at the stitches). Boys being boys. He will have a scar, but hopefully in time it will fade and he will never know it ever happened, except through pics.
I am sad. I just want to lay around today. I am hurting and sad. So we will wait to here form the clinic on the status of our 8 eggs and make decisions from there.
Until new updates.
Honestly: we haven't gotten any results back and I am already sad and thinking the worst. They harvested 8 eggs, but I doubt any of them are going to be mature. The only thing left is to leave it in God's hands.
I am not sure I am sad because my journey has come to an end, or just sad overall I was't able to conceive naturally. Is it a blessing or a curse I had breast cancer at age 24?? It's not my place to question God's plan...and set I still do. I have a perfect little boy, who busted his chin open on Tuesday and needed stitches (we opted for glue since he was being so good and we figured he'd pick at the stitches). Boys being boys. He will have a scar, but hopefully in time it will fade and he will never know it ever happened, except through pics.
I am sad. I just want to lay around today. I am hurting and sad. So we will wait to here form the clinic on the status of our 8 eggs and make decisions from there.
Until new updates.
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
US and Labs
No results back yet, but there were 2 larger and one smaller follicle on each ovary today; that we could see. There was also fluid in my uterine lining, which means had I been doing a fresh cycle, it would have been cancelled and everything frozen until a later date. Good thing we aren't doing a fresh cycle. After the first one, we've never done another; my body can't handle the overstimulation of hormones.
So I start my Cetrotide today. Which tells me my P4 levels are starting to creep up. They give the Cetrotide to shut down the P4, keeping it low so it won't cook the eggs in the follicles.
I return to the clinic for another US and labs on Friday (July 26th).
I am very disappointed in how I am stimulating this time. I really only have 4 follicles. The OAR score indicated at least 8. They need to come up with a more reliable test, because this test sucks and only gets one's hopes up.
Until then......
So I start my Cetrotide today. Which tells me my P4 levels are starting to creep up. They give the Cetrotide to shut down the P4, keeping it low so it won't cook the eggs in the follicles.
I return to the clinic for another US and labs on Friday (July 26th).
I am very disappointed in how I am stimulating this time. I really only have 4 follicles. The OAR score indicated at least 8. They need to come up with a more reliable test, because this test sucks and only gets one's hopes up.
Until then......
Monday, July 22, 2019
Today's Results
Here are the results from today's US and labs.
Not as good as I was hoping, but the left ovary was hiding behind the uterus and some bowel. Hopefully there are more and we just didn't see them.
| Left Ovary | |
| Follicles: | 9mm, 8mm, 7mm |
| Right Ovary | |
| Follicles: | 14mm, 13mm |
The ESTRADIOL was 680.6 pg/ml. This is just fine for what I have. I go back on Wednesday 0900.
Until then....
Sunday, July 21, 2019
Baseline US and Blood Work
Went Saturday morning (July 20) for the baseline US and blood work. It appeared I had 4 good follicles on the left ovary and 2 maybe 3 small follicles on the right. I do not know the levels of P4 or E, and I can not confirm the follicles, because the clinic has not updated my portal. They only sent me instructions.
So I continue 225 of the stimulating shots, twice a day, until 0830 tomorrow morning (Monday July 22). I go back for another US and blood work to see how the few follicles I have are progressing, and to see if I have gained any new ones. I am still on the steroid pill once a day.
So far, everything looks good and we are progressing nicely.
Until tomorrow then.....
So I continue 225 of the stimulating shots, twice a day, until 0830 tomorrow morning (Monday July 22). I go back for another US and blood work to see how the few follicles I have are progressing, and to see if I have gained any new ones. I am still on the steroid pill once a day.
So far, everything looks good and we are progressing nicely.
Until tomorrow then.....
Sunday, July 14, 2019
And We Begin Again
Well, here we go folks. It's that time again....harvest time. I start my stim shots on Tuesday. Twice a day as usual. Also start the dexamethasone as well that day. My first US and baseline blood work will be Sat the 20th at 0800.
I'm excited but I am also nervous. My OAR score this time was the best it's ever been since we started this whole process when I was 35. Just for reference, I will be 43 in Oct. However, I have been thrown a curve ball this time.
May 19th, the day of the final episode of Game of Thrones (the first episode I would have watched and yes, it was the series finally), I decided I needed to have a seizure. Yep. Full on tonic clonic seizure. Convulsions, frothing at the mouth, classic seizure. Turns out (after MRI and EEG), it was a perfect storm of things that caused it. Migraine for 4 days, little to no sleep for 3 days (we had just bought a Dive Shop and well, stress), and Tramadol. Tramadol has a history of lowering a person's seizure threshold, but I had been on it for over 10 years and had no issues. So the only culprit is the Tramadol. IT lasted about 45 seconds or so. I was standing at the cat tree and the next thing I remember is them asking me what year it was (I couldn't come up with it) and then asking if I knew where I was (in the ambulance - I go that one right). It took about an hour for me to get all my faculties back and know what was exactly going on. I am fine, except I can't scuba dive for 6 months now. UGH. That sucks, especially during the busy summer season.
Anyway, how this affects my IVF. I was 132 pounds before the seizure. When I went to my first appointment to get my H&H blood draw and and US to check for any cysts on my ovaries, I was 150 pounds. Nothing has changed in my eating habits. Nothing. The only change is the seizure and the dive shop. I am getting at least 20,000 steps a day and constantly lifting and loving heavy objects. Is it the exercise packing on muscle, or is it something else? I feel I am eating less, but drinking more. I realize alcohol can pack on weight, but that much in such a short time?? I wasn't drinking THAT much. The other thing that has changed (IMO) is my personality. I am quick to anger, I feel I have zero emotions, and I feel my Sir Chance wants nothing to do with me.....an I am indifferent about it. Yes, I have gone to the doctor about all of this and she is stumped as well since all the tests are normal; but who says I am ever normal??!! HA!
No way to lose those extra pounds in 2 weeks, so hopefully I can get the pounds off before we transfer (God willing we get embryos of course).
Another thing that has happened, is I had surgery April 3. I had abdominal liposuction and breast/nipple reconstruction. They used the fat from my abdomen and transferred it to the left breast to fill in some flat spaces. We did this to keep from having to remove the implant and doing capsule work. The capsule is the pocket the implant sits in. Think of it as the water balloon is the capsule and the implant is the water. We moved my right nipple, via flap, almost 2 cm to the lateral side (towards my arm pit), because it was showing in any bra or swim suit top I wore (except bandeau style; but with a swimming toddler you can't wear those....he just pulls them down).
Now here is where things get tricky. DH is only off 4 days the entire 2 weeks of the harvest schedule. He is on call two days (so he goes in at 7P) and off the day after his call shift. Yes, he is off the weekends, but I have historically never harvested on the weekend. Since he is only off those 4 days, and the chances of me being ready on one of those 4 days is slim, he will have to go into the clinic and leave a sperm sample to be frozen, as back up just in case. Obviously fresh sperm is best, but if he isn't avail, it's either frozen sperm or frozen eggs.
Back to my OAR score. It is the best it has ever been, so the RE ordered less medicine than she has in the past. This gives me more hope things will go smoothly and amazingly. As you may or may not remember, our last cycle we had the most follicles we have ever had at 25, but only got a few eggs, only one of which was mature. Due to human error, our egg was accidentally injected with 2 sperm and we ended up with a ruined egg. It happens. We don't blame anyone, and no action was taken. We just wanted to make sure steps were put in place so that hopefully this doesn't happen again, or to anyone else. When you have 10 harvests in a day, it makes people rush around and sometimes errors happen. So we had little signs made to remind people to slow down and take extra precautions.
So shots start in 2 days. Not looking forward to the shots since I have no fat in my tummy anymore, but it'll be great. I am still trying to figure out where all the weight went, because I may be swollen a little bit (takes about 6 months for all the swelling to go away), so my waist is still around 2 inches larger than pre-surgery, but it was closer to 6 inches for weeks post surgery. I still wear my abdominal binder and waist trainers. Spanx don't make a small enough product to get the compression I need. I probably should be wearing a corset honestly, but that requires 2 people to get into and my 85 year old MIL can't help and DH isn't around when it's time to get dressed. So I do what I can.
Hopefully by Sat we have a few good growing follicles and we are off to a good start for this third and final harvest. We said we would do 3 after Sir Chance was born, so this is the final one.
Updates to come. I appreciate any and all good wishes and prayers. I also hope anyone reading this who is going through this journey, has faith it can work. Stay positive and allow it all to happen in God's time.
I'm excited but I am also nervous. My OAR score this time was the best it's ever been since we started this whole process when I was 35. Just for reference, I will be 43 in Oct. However, I have been thrown a curve ball this time.
May 19th, the day of the final episode of Game of Thrones (the first episode I would have watched and yes, it was the series finally), I decided I needed to have a seizure. Yep. Full on tonic clonic seizure. Convulsions, frothing at the mouth, classic seizure. Turns out (after MRI and EEG), it was a perfect storm of things that caused it. Migraine for 4 days, little to no sleep for 3 days (we had just bought a Dive Shop and well, stress), and Tramadol. Tramadol has a history of lowering a person's seizure threshold, but I had been on it for over 10 years and had no issues. So the only culprit is the Tramadol. IT lasted about 45 seconds or so. I was standing at the cat tree and the next thing I remember is them asking me what year it was (I couldn't come up with it) and then asking if I knew where I was (in the ambulance - I go that one right). It took about an hour for me to get all my faculties back and know what was exactly going on. I am fine, except I can't scuba dive for 6 months now. UGH. That sucks, especially during the busy summer season.
Anyway, how this affects my IVF. I was 132 pounds before the seizure. When I went to my first appointment to get my H&H blood draw and and US to check for any cysts on my ovaries, I was 150 pounds. Nothing has changed in my eating habits. Nothing. The only change is the seizure and the dive shop. I am getting at least 20,000 steps a day and constantly lifting and loving heavy objects. Is it the exercise packing on muscle, or is it something else? I feel I am eating less, but drinking more. I realize alcohol can pack on weight, but that much in such a short time?? I wasn't drinking THAT much. The other thing that has changed (IMO) is my personality. I am quick to anger, I feel I have zero emotions, and I feel my Sir Chance wants nothing to do with me.....an I am indifferent about it. Yes, I have gone to the doctor about all of this and she is stumped as well since all the tests are normal; but who says I am ever normal??!! HA!
No way to lose those extra pounds in 2 weeks, so hopefully I can get the pounds off before we transfer (God willing we get embryos of course).
Another thing that has happened, is I had surgery April 3. I had abdominal liposuction and breast/nipple reconstruction. They used the fat from my abdomen and transferred it to the left breast to fill in some flat spaces. We did this to keep from having to remove the implant and doing capsule work. The capsule is the pocket the implant sits in. Think of it as the water balloon is the capsule and the implant is the water. We moved my right nipple, via flap, almost 2 cm to the lateral side (towards my arm pit), because it was showing in any bra or swim suit top I wore (except bandeau style; but with a swimming toddler you can't wear those....he just pulls them down).
Now here is where things get tricky. DH is only off 4 days the entire 2 weeks of the harvest schedule. He is on call two days (so he goes in at 7P) and off the day after his call shift. Yes, he is off the weekends, but I have historically never harvested on the weekend. Since he is only off those 4 days, and the chances of me being ready on one of those 4 days is slim, he will have to go into the clinic and leave a sperm sample to be frozen, as back up just in case. Obviously fresh sperm is best, but if he isn't avail, it's either frozen sperm or frozen eggs.
Back to my OAR score. It is the best it has ever been, so the RE ordered less medicine than she has in the past. This gives me more hope things will go smoothly and amazingly. As you may or may not remember, our last cycle we had the most follicles we have ever had at 25, but only got a few eggs, only one of which was mature. Due to human error, our egg was accidentally injected with 2 sperm and we ended up with a ruined egg. It happens. We don't blame anyone, and no action was taken. We just wanted to make sure steps were put in place so that hopefully this doesn't happen again, or to anyone else. When you have 10 harvests in a day, it makes people rush around and sometimes errors happen. So we had little signs made to remind people to slow down and take extra precautions.
So shots start in 2 days. Not looking forward to the shots since I have no fat in my tummy anymore, but it'll be great. I am still trying to figure out where all the weight went, because I may be swollen a little bit (takes about 6 months for all the swelling to go away), so my waist is still around 2 inches larger than pre-surgery, but it was closer to 6 inches for weeks post surgery. I still wear my abdominal binder and waist trainers. Spanx don't make a small enough product to get the compression I need. I probably should be wearing a corset honestly, but that requires 2 people to get into and my 85 year old MIL can't help and DH isn't around when it's time to get dressed. So I do what I can.
Hopefully by Sat we have a few good growing follicles and we are off to a good start for this third and final harvest. We said we would do 3 after Sir Chance was born, so this is the final one.
Updates to come. I appreciate any and all good wishes and prayers. I also hope anyone reading this who is going through this journey, has faith it can work. Stay positive and allow it all to happen in God's time.
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
One Disappointment After Another
My RE and I have had a conflict regarding MRI or letter from oncologist due to my breast cancer. My insurance won't cover and MRI if there is no reason, which there is not. I have no issues and no lumps or bumps.
So we have consulted 3 more IVF clinics. All three have told me it would be a waste of money to harvest me and just to go to the donor. This makes me feel like a failure and horrible. I think I would always hate myself if I didn't try harvesting myself one more time before going a donor. We always said we would try 3 times; but does that third time skip me and go right to donor.
I am do sad and crying today. We consulted OKC, CCRM in Colorado, and St Louis. My clinic is the only one willing to harvest me (the other clinics think they just want to take our money). CCRM just wants us to do donor and gestational carrier, because they don't think I could get preggo again.
The thing is choosing the donor. We don't really care for any of the avail donors at our clinic, but we have 3 we would choose from. This decision is really hard.
Then, do we harvest the donor and me at the same time? What happens if we get tons of embryos? Does the clinic keep my embryos separate from the donor embryos so if they come back genetically normal, we can choose whose to transfer?
I just want to cry. 3 out of 4 physicians are telling me it's a waist of money to harvest me again. I really am torn. I just really feel I will regret not trying me again, especially since my numbers increased. My AMH was .74 which is good according to the docs; not great, but good.
So now we decide. Do we change clinics after my meeting with our current RE (since she requires an appointment and won't call anyone back - even an physician), or do we just stick with what we know?
I feel like shite and can't stop crying.
I am do sad and crying today. We consulted OKC, CCRM in Colorado, and St Louis. My clinic is the only one willing to harvest me (the other clinics think they just want to take our money). CCRM just wants us to do donor and gestational carrier, because they don't think I could get preggo again.
The thing is choosing the donor. We don't really care for any of the avail donors at our clinic, but we have 3 we would choose from. This decision is really hard.
Then, do we harvest the donor and me at the same time? What happens if we get tons of embryos? Does the clinic keep my embryos separate from the donor embryos so if they come back genetically normal, we can choose whose to transfer?
I just want to cry. 3 out of 4 physicians are telling me it's a waist of money to harvest me again. I really am torn. I just really feel I will regret not trying me again, especially since my numbers increased. My AMH was .74 which is good according to the docs; not great, but good.
So now we decide. Do we change clinics after my meeting with our current RE (since she requires an appointment and won't call anyone back - even an physician), or do we just stick with what we know?
I feel like shite and can't stop crying.
Sunday, February 3, 2019
Decision Made
Well, after many sleepless nights, and lots of thinking and praying, we have made our decision. We will indeed harvest me one last time. We have entered the July cycle. If we are not fortunate enough to get a genetically normal embryo, then we will move onto an egg donor. This is a very serious and emotional decision I had to make; being the child will not be mine biologically, but I will birth the child and it will be our child. Biologically my DH of course. We just feel Sir Chance needs a sibling and this is the route we have decided to take. If neither of these options work for us, adoption will be our last resort.
Since I will be going back to work full time very shortly, this is the right time to try to get us another child.
I know on a mitochondrial level, the child's DNA will change and some of my DNA will combine with the child and it will be mine, but a normal DNA test will not detect these changes. Maybe some day in the future, with the advancement of technology, this DNA will show.
This has been a very difficult time for me emotionally. Weighing the cost of both harvests against everything else going on in our lives at the moment. We have things going in the right direction with the sale of 2 houses, so I feel God is telling me it's time, and with him leading the way, we will get our sibling for Sir Chance; who is 20 months old now!! Time is flying by too fast.
Since I will be going back to work full time very shortly, this is the right time to try to get us another child.
I know on a mitochondrial level, the child's DNA will change and some of my DNA will combine with the child and it will be mine, but a normal DNA test will not detect these changes. Maybe some day in the future, with the advancement of technology, this DNA will show.
This has been a very difficult time for me emotionally. Weighing the cost of both harvests against everything else going on in our lives at the moment. We have things going in the right direction with the sale of 2 houses, so I feel God is telling me it's time, and with him leading the way, we will get our sibling for Sir Chance; who is 20 months old now!! Time is flying by too fast.
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
New Hope
Well, lots have happened since our last harvest. We toyed, and prayed, and discussed, and everything in between. We have decided we want another baby. We once again consulted with Schoolcraft in Colorado. He was super surprised I was able to carry and have a normal, healthy baby boy. Completely shocked were his words. I gave him the low down on what happened with the last 3 cycles. He told me I will most likely never get another embryo, and I should just go to egg donor. However, there is no reason why we can't give my ovaries one last look. Come to Colorado and do a bunch of testing at twice the cost as they would cost here.
So we once again consulted with our RE. We did another OAR Score, and my numbers actually increased!!! What? How is that possible wince they have been dropping like a rock since Sir Chance was born 19 months ago. Well, they did. Not significantly, but they increased anyway. Estimated egg retrieval is 8.
So what to do? Should we try with me again? Should we go right to egg donor and skip me?
I think I would always regret not giving myself another chance, especially since my numbers increased; however, we said we would try only 3 times, and if we did me, we would not do egg donor, as that would be 4 tries.
The embryology costs at our clinic have increased almost 100% since last June when we harvested last. This really upsets me; as there is NO reason for it to increase THAT much. What can you do though?
So I consulted the business manager of the fertility clinic and asked her about a 2 for 1 deal on the harvests. Kind of a joint risk thing. Pay time and a half, and if we harvest me and get an embryo then we are done (we would lose money - here is our risk); but if we didn't, then harvest the donor at no additional cost to us (their risk - as they are losing money).
She didn't go for that; so we will get the same professional discount as always.
Here's how the donor works (money wise). We chose our donor from a picture book. Once we chose, we pay $7,000 for the donor to have all the genetic testing, ID labs, and all the other blood work needed to be a donor. This $7k covers all the education and psychological testing. Then, there is an additional $7,000 which covers all the stuff needed for the harvest and genetic testing. Well, sort of, because the actual testing costs an additional $2,500 on top of all the other clinic costs, which goes directly to the testing lab. Medications for the donor are approx $3,500 (it's closer to $6,000 for me). The cost of the FET (frozen embryo transfer) is approx $4,000 with $1,500 in meds. There is also a $5,000 stipend for the donor to cover time off work and driving time, etc.
When I first approached the office manager about the cost, she informed me the cost of the Donor cycle would be $39,000....which immediately took it off the table. However, the I received all the financial information, the $39,000 was for both a harvest for me, the donor, a fresh and frozen transfer, and all the testing. Pour professional discount (thanks DrH) makes it less than this obviously.
So now we just have to decide. The ultimate goal is for us (me to carry) to have a second child, so Sir Chance can have a sibling or two. We have things in the works where I will be going back to work around Feb 1, so trying to fit everything in harvest wise, along with all our vacations in the first of the year, makes it super tricky, and really hard to decide.
Obviously with our track record, harvesting me feels like it would be a waste of money, but it only takes one. Look at Sir Chance.
Another thing we have to consider: if we use and egg donor, what about all the half siblings this child may have? How do we tell the child about this; I'm not your genetic mother, but I birthed you? Fortunately at our clinic, the donor is only allowed to donate one time, and we would get any and all eggs she produces. So there is this dilemma to; what if we get more than 3 or 4 embryos? Would we wait and have another child (I would be close to 48 with a third) or do we just destroy the embryos? Donate them? Lots of things to consider. I know for a fact, on a mitochondrial DNA level, me carrying the baby changes this DNA, but if a DNA test were done, the child wouldn't show as mine. So many things to consider; money not just being one of them.
So we are once again on the fertility journey.
So we once again consulted with our RE. We did another OAR Score, and my numbers actually increased!!! What? How is that possible wince they have been dropping like a rock since Sir Chance was born 19 months ago. Well, they did. Not significantly, but they increased anyway. Estimated egg retrieval is 8.
So what to do? Should we try with me again? Should we go right to egg donor and skip me?
I think I would always regret not giving myself another chance, especially since my numbers increased; however, we said we would try only 3 times, and if we did me, we would not do egg donor, as that would be 4 tries.
The embryology costs at our clinic have increased almost 100% since last June when we harvested last. This really upsets me; as there is NO reason for it to increase THAT much. What can you do though?
So I consulted the business manager of the fertility clinic and asked her about a 2 for 1 deal on the harvests. Kind of a joint risk thing. Pay time and a half, and if we harvest me and get an embryo then we are done (we would lose money - here is our risk); but if we didn't, then harvest the donor at no additional cost to us (their risk - as they are losing money).
She didn't go for that; so we will get the same professional discount as always.
Here's how the donor works (money wise). We chose our donor from a picture book. Once we chose, we pay $7,000 for the donor to have all the genetic testing, ID labs, and all the other blood work needed to be a donor. This $7k covers all the education and psychological testing. Then, there is an additional $7,000 which covers all the stuff needed for the harvest and genetic testing. Well, sort of, because the actual testing costs an additional $2,500 on top of all the other clinic costs, which goes directly to the testing lab. Medications for the donor are approx $3,500 (it's closer to $6,000 for me). The cost of the FET (frozen embryo transfer) is approx $4,000 with $1,500 in meds. There is also a $5,000 stipend for the donor to cover time off work and driving time, etc.
When I first approached the office manager about the cost, she informed me the cost of the Donor cycle would be $39,000....which immediately took it off the table. However, the I received all the financial information, the $39,000 was for both a harvest for me, the donor, a fresh and frozen transfer, and all the testing. Pour professional discount (thanks DrH) makes it less than this obviously.
So now we just have to decide. The ultimate goal is for us (me to carry) to have a second child, so Sir Chance can have a sibling or two. We have things in the works where I will be going back to work around Feb 1, so trying to fit everything in harvest wise, along with all our vacations in the first of the year, makes it super tricky, and really hard to decide.
Obviously with our track record, harvesting me feels like it would be a waste of money, but it only takes one. Look at Sir Chance.
Another thing we have to consider: if we use and egg donor, what about all the half siblings this child may have? How do we tell the child about this; I'm not your genetic mother, but I birthed you? Fortunately at our clinic, the donor is only allowed to donate one time, and we would get any and all eggs she produces. So there is this dilemma to; what if we get more than 3 or 4 embryos? Would we wait and have another child (I would be close to 48 with a third) or do we just destroy the embryos? Donate them? Lots of things to consider. I know for a fact, on a mitochondrial DNA level, me carrying the baby changes this DNA, but if a DNA test were done, the child wouldn't show as mine. So many things to consider; money not just being one of them.
So we are once again on the fertility journey.
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